High Roller Vacations

GF of 5 years left.. I’m trying to move on?

Living together since we were both 19, and known since we were 15.
currently we are 24. At first it was like out of a movie, because we are kinda “runaway kids” her famili lives in NY and mine in FL, and we live in CA.. Living the Cali life.. we only had each other… I’m considered to be “smart” to my employees and luckily always landed “good-paying” jobs… well at least compared to the average 21 year old, by the time i was 22 I was making 45K a year in the fashion Industry, and she was making about 19K working at a clothing store. I always loved school so I went for my BA. we both liked enjoying life.. Smoking some bomb Kush Weed everyday, driving fast cars, clubbing, shopping and going on vacations.Vegas, NY, Miami… throwing it in the air,,, Never saved a Dime, After the good times rapidly came bad times within our relationship, I wasn’t humble anymore nor romantic. love was fading away. I believed I was larger than my own clothes, We would go to the strippers together, get high, drunk and sex… We forgot about God, cose we didn’t need him..I found myself locked up twice just for being stupid and high, My green Card got taken away, lost my job, my girl crashed my 35K car and the insurance turned the back on me too. … I had to pay $20k to my immigration lawyer.. and things don’t look too Good…. Last sunday she left me.. and flew back to her moms… Meanwhile I’m stock with like a Million dollar debt, I’m about to get deported to a country where I didn’t even grew up in… The only thing I have right now is my education and my loving family…. So i came to the conclusion that life is a roller coaster-crazy-ride, cose when it is too good to be true… that’s exactly what it is… Not true, and when you have it all you have much more to loose.
I still love her I always did, and probably I always will.. somehow.. nonetheless, this is my time, right here and right now, now I’m working out a lot, I want to turn my life around and be happy regardless where I live or with whom I live with.. I want to reach higher, I don’t want to let money change me anymore. I wish I could be me again. I wish I didn’t love her the way I do, but perhaps it is my time to get things straight and live better, as well as let her live. It is just that I didn’t see this one coming regardless of how many signs I had, I was just blind.
I miss her and I think she is afraid of all the drama surrounding me, I know we love each other…. but when we are together our lives are going down hill.. Deep inside my heart I want to be with her regardless.. but I guess I just have to move on day at a time.. How did you do it..?? I wonder if she can forget me after all…?