Why is my Dad horrible to me? Please help me!?
I’m proud of myself for who i am. My mom has built me a good life. There are things i would like, but i can’t have. So I’ve learned not to think anything more of it. For example, Family money. Me and my mom don’t have anything. I’m 15 years old. But i do have a weekend job where i earn a little bit to pay for things i want. If i don’t have the money, i save. But I’m happy and proud of who i am.
My mom is my best friend. I love her for everything she’s ever done and is continue to do.
My dad never wanted children. He was bloody lucky having a lovely lady like my mom. Too bad he’s horrible though.
My mom wanted children very badly. She didn’t have a very good childhood. But children would of made her happy – Which they have. She had her first miscarriage in 1981. My dad didn’t care. Didn’t help her. Didn’t show any sympathy for loosing his son.
After 7 more miscarriages – my brother was born. Then i came 5 years after. My mom was over the moon. Dad shrugged his shoulders and left her to look after an autistic child and a newborn.
5 months before she gave birth to me, she met a man. When i was 5 months old, she left my dad and announced she was moving in with this man. I call him ‘Step – dad’ Although my mom and this man weren’t married.. He’s always been a dad to me – Even now. He told me the other day I’m in his Will. I cried.
In my dad’s will.. We don’t have anything. It all goes to his EX girlfriend and he hasn’t even been bothered to change it. My dad has never paid a penny for us. It’s only recently that he doesn’t pay for my brother, he gives my mom £25 a week because she reported him. Mom split up from my ‘Step – dad’ when i was 4.
When i was 6.. My brother was taken into hospital in a coma. I witnessed this and i had to grow up. I had to be mature. Which i was. I can remember what happened. I found him. I’m not saying why he slipped into a Coma. It’s too heartbreaking. But i can remember it. The image of finding him slaps me in the face every day. But I’ve learned to move on. Things are better 9 years later. While this happened.. My dad went to Ibiza with his Ex Girlfriend 2 weeks later. Didn’t give a crap about his family.
He paid for her Kids to go to Disneyland and told us in front of them.
Things moved on. My step – dad still takes care of me and my mom. He’s retiring with us. A few months ago, i badly needed money for some exam re – sits. I asked my biological dad (Who i see on weekends) if he could pay. He said ‘Love, i don’t have the money’ Then he was announcing that he was going to a concert and then bought the tickets in front of me and was getting a Hot tub. My step – dad lent me the money for the re – sits. I worked bloody hard and it paid off. I got good results.
My real dad ‘Play fights’ With me. Sometimes it hurts when he ‘punches me’ in the arm. It hurts. So yesterday, i got fed up and decided to hit him back, hard and hurt him back. That was on purpose. He looked at me and said ‘Why are you being horrible to your daddy?’ I replied back ‘Why are you being so horrible to me!? You told me the other day you don’t even listen to anything tell you! Why should i put up with it now?!’ He just stared at me.
Before that happened though, we were at my Nan’s. She was asking me what i wanted to do with my life when i leave school in a few months. I told her truthfully that i want to become a Photographer or a writer. Then my dad piped up ‘Ha! You’re only going to be a BIG Issue seller in the middle of the town center’
That really hurt me. I wouldn’t talk to him all night. He has a new girlfriend who is lovely to me.
My brother doesn’t live with me. He has his own house now and doesn’t see our dad that much. I’m so close to him.
I told my mom this morning and she said ‘He’s a twat! He’s always upsetting you. I just think you should stay away lovie. You’re always going to be successful in life. I’m going to help you even though we’ve got little money. You always have a home here. I wish you were you’re step – dad’s kids. I really do’
My dad’s horrible. But i don’t fit in with my dad’s culture. I don’t drink excessively of love football. My mom said that his problem might be because he’s ‘jealous of my Step – dad’ or because he doesn’t know what to say to me.
It’s no excuse for his behavior to his own daughter though!
My mom helps me out and agrees with me.
Thing is – I’ve told my dad all of this. He just seems to find it funny. Once his Ex Girlfriend accused me of calling her a whore at age 8 and he believed her not his flesh and blood.
I ask him why he believed her and he laughs and said ‘Because it was funny’
After that incident – he wouldn’t talk to me for 3 months and it broke my heart.
Players Club Tours answers:
You are a kind sweet loyal and caring girl. Your nature is the total opposite your father. You father is selfish and emotionally “brain dead”.
Your very nature drives you to want to love and belong to your father, however you need to understand that he is emotionally and psychologically incapable of doing this.
I am truly sorry for your Dad he will never really know or appreciate what a beautiful daughter he has and what a courageous mother/wife he once had.
Even though it hurts, this is the reality.
Be thankful for your mother and make her proud, terrible as it is I think your Father is so self absorbed he will ever understand or want the the beautiful relationship you want with him.
He unfortunately, is one of the few fathers that fall into the category of “sperm donor” and little else. He cannot help himself he is truly incapable of love, and as your hurt is the result that deep down in your heart you want him to change. However this is beyond his capacity to do so, and this can be evidenced by the way he treated your mother.
Nothing that has occurred is YOUR FAULT. Tell yourself your Dad will never be able to show the love you are seeking, there is a sense that he simply is incapable of that. Recognizing this perhaps you can learn to grow through your hurt.
Spend some extra time with those who truly love you and tell them you need a big long cuddle!
Believe in yourself you are very special person!
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